Every birthday I get to celebrate is kind of a big deal to me considering I have a rare chronic illness consisting among other of a transplant kidney. To still be healthy enough to work, albeit part time, to travel and just to be able to walk to the grocery store. Never underestimate the privilege of being able to walk to the grocery store, buy food and carry it back home.

I learned many things in my 44 trips around the sun, about myself and life in general. I’m listing them here for myself in no particular order.

1. No one is going to come and save you.
2. Friends come and go, sometimes you grow in different directions. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just life.
3. The older I get the more comfortable I am with my own company.
4. I get energy from working with students, teaching them about deaf accessibility.
5. The same with giving talks about accessibility. My motivation being that I hope the next deaf person will have it easier than me
6. I will never stop grieving for losing becoming deaf at 26 years old.
7. Kindness from strangers is the best thing to cheer one up.
8. Also, being kind to strangers even the smallest gesture is a great feeling.
9. Therapy helped me so much. Everyone should get therapy at least once.
10. Spending time with my family is one of my happy places.
11. I spend about 1/3 of my life in doctors waiting rooms, and it never gets easier.
12. I’m the odd duck, the misfit. Always was, always will be.
13. Being late deaf and an introvert makes it hard to make new friends, especially in your 40s when everyone is busy and have full lives.
14. On the other hand, being alone makes it able to make spontaneous connections with strangers that would never happen if I wasn’t alone.
15. I love going to the coffee bar for my weekly coffee.
16. Life does not need grand gestures and experiences to be worthy.
17. Having a hobby brings joy. Getting back into street photography was one of my better decisions.
18. I have little patience for chit chatting about nothing.
19. Read every day, even if it is a couple of pages.
20. No is a full sentence. I learned this years ago and it made life much easier.
21. Have an opinion or two. Nothing grates me more than passiveness.
22. Good food and good company always make for a good time.
23. I still don’t like asking for help for anything health related. I will only ask if there really isn’t any other way.
24. I appreciate people who offer help with a specific task they can help with instead of the general offering “let me know if you need anything”.
25. Likewise I only offer specific help I know I’m able to do.
26. Dark sarcastic humor gets me through life.
27. Never meet your heroes, they are human too.
28. Always keep learning new things.
29. Invest in quality loose leaf teas.
30. Routine is one of the antidotes to anxiety.
31. And so is watching Frasier, The Golden Girls, and Friends re-runs.
32. Taking a long walk often relieves stress and clears the mind.
33. Pen and paper are still the best way to retain knowledge.
34. An earnest smile goes a long way.
35. Drink lots of water.
36. Take photos of your loved ones and print them. You will be glad later that you did.
37. Always have a pile of to read books. You never know when a specific reading mood might strike.
38. Eat the cake.
39. Trust the science, scientist dedicate their life to knowledge.
40. Sometimes all you need is a fresh haircut.
41. Sitting on a bench in a park in another country is the best kind of freedom.
42. Take naps.
43. Home cooked meals is a love language.
44. Sing when the mood strikes even if you sound like a cat in pain.